<elle> @root@elle.systems

i love this liminal video of a horse taking a bath

https://youtu.be/sZW5jySoFTM

so half price you'll say, "wow, it sure is"

immensely half price. extremely, even.

waking up early to milk the chickens before they retract their udders

any sims fans that don't have money, keep in mind sims is one of the very few if any games that consistently is cracked and repackaged with the newest dlc they release lol

i haven't played since like 2 i think but i hear a new pack is released and a day or two later i see it repackaged on sites and forums

the sims 4 update that adds straight people accidentally also added incest

the name for it is necrobotics which is pretty dope though

cheap, bio-degradable claw machines, now with REAL spiders!

unsightly floor hand fetishist 😡

ENTERING MORB MODE

yelling, "my grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards!" playing traditional card games like blackjack and poker

on any camping trip i make sure to open with, "if you hear any of us scream, be sure to find us! they might still be out here."

cooking instructions like a horror game/movie.

step 1. prove your loyalty to me by getting rid of potato... slice its corpse and dispose of it in the oven for 30-40 minutes.

then.. probably putting everyone on a list that downloads the instructions, just to be safe.

monkey gland sauce was named to try to make people not use because something something the french were being pompous about not liking the use of tomato sauces. but now it has to have a notice that it may not contain actual monkeys due to false advertisement laws or whatever. or something like that.

in reality, it's a good sauce though because the french couldn't then make something shitty, even if it was a tomato sauce. that'd be unbecoming and they'd never live it down.