Show newer
<elle> boosted

what pervert runs the 'Ruggs Benedict' store what made you combine those things stop it

<elle> boosted

Call me an anprim but I think we should live simpler lives

<elle> boosted
<elle> boosted
<elle> boosted

i think it's weird that software still asks you if you want a desktop shortcut. they're ugly and bad

<elle> boosted

TODAY: 1 PM PST, im gonna be hosting a watch party for the movie Airplane!

discord.gg/caz7N4vp

being on a street that has people instead of beavers and possums on it that call out, "i like your hair!" I'm just meekly like "AH I'M A CAVE PERSON HELP!" or "oh no I'm so sorry"

"i would love to but i only know your sister as Jimmy John's, what is her name"

i can't tell if this wine is really strong or I'm just having a good time in a public space with old friends that's not a thing right that doesn't happen

Show thread

I'm going to get incidentally wasted on this expensive yet complimentary white wine i can't pronounce because i haven't drank in a millennia and I'm too anxious to do anything with my hands but practice holding a glass as daintily as i can

went up to someone i thought i knew and it was actually someone completely different so i ended up just committing like, oh who are you I'm sorry nice to meet you ok!

being around people again is just like, oh hi yes I'm hello! what do you want or congratulations?

<elle> boosted

Why does the polycule application ask for gaps in my fukc history?? NOT RELEVANT!!

<elle> boosted

referencing violent crime 

i only just learned this week that the BTK serial killer was apprehended because he sent a letter to the police asking if he could remain safely anonymous while sending them a computer disk. the police told him "yeah, sure, definitely."

and then when he mailed a disk to them, they immediately checked meta data on a deleted Word document and promptly ended a 30 year-long mystery.

all "clever" police work honestly begins and ends at simply hoping other people fuck up.

<elle> boosted

i keep forgetting that i have wikipedia page "List of clowns" in my watchlist, whenever it shows up again it is like a gift from past me

<elle> boosted
<elle> boosted

sign up to mastodon today and find the in-game sex-arses to win fabulous prizes!

Show older
corpus

gui of elle.iso database corpus. prone to failures and glitches.